Kitchen Confessions
by crematosis
Summary: When Steve leaves an apology note in the kitchen, Tony immediately assumes the worst.


A/N: I know, I know. I have way too many unfinished stories floating around and I absolutely shouldn't be doing another one, but my whole family is moving out of state so I suppose I'm working out my abandonment issues in fic form. I'm sure the rest of my fics have abandonment issues of their own, but that's a story for another time.

Tony grumbled to himself as he trudged up the stairs from his lab. He was so close to a breakthrough in his project, he could feel it. But he was almost sixty hours deep into it and he had run out of coffee in the lab.

At least the communal coffee maker in the kitchen was state of the art. Tony had designed it himself. It made the perfect cup of black coffee, but it also prepared any drink the rest of the Avengers could ever want. Even the pumpkin spice lattes Thor was bizarrely obsessed with. Tony had even installed a rudimentary AI so the machine could chirp a greeting to the disgusting morning people like Steve and Natasha- who were always awake and alert first, and just drank coffee for the taste. Everyone else was a horrible brute before their morning coffee, Clint had said once. And thus, the coffee maker had been named Brutus.

Tony hummed to himself as he picked through the various canisters of coffee in the pantry. He had almost figured out the wind resistance issue, but even after he got it settled, he was going to have to put in time running simulations, producing a prototype, and testing. It was going to be another couple hours of work at the very least.

Better stick with the dark roast.

He grabbed the coffee and his favorite mug but stopped short as he finally noticed the sticky note on the front of the coffee maker.

"I'm sorry, Tony," the note said in Steve's precise handwriting.

Tony frowned. What was Steve apologizing for? Tony hadn't seen him in days, but he would have remembered if they had fought before he holed himself up in his shop. And there was nothing Steve could do to upset Tony while he was working. Tony was always so focused when he was in the lab that he was barely aware of the world around him. If Steve hadn't come down to sketch or bring leftovers, Tony wouldn't have noticed or held it against him.

So why was Steve apologizing? If anything, Tony was the one who should be apologizing. He had abandoned his boyfriend for engineering and he knew how lonely Steve was when he holed himself up in the lab. Steve never slept well if Tony wasn't in bed with him; something about Tony's presence keeping the usual nightmares of the ice at bay.

Tony ran a finger over the blank space at the bottom of the note. Steve was fond of leaving little notes all over the Tower for Tony, cute little drawings or sappy sayings. He had always signed them "Love, Steve" even though Tony could recognize his handwriting a mile away. How odd that he hadn't signed this one.

A tiny voice in the back of Tony's head whispered that maybe there was no "Love, Steve" because Steve didn't love him anymore.

No, no, that was ridiculous. Steve loved him. Steve was just apologizing for…for what? For not being able to put up with Tony's shit anymore?

Tony sucked in a breath. Was this Steve's way of breaking up with him? Was this last engineering binge all it took to make Steve realize Tony wasn't good boyfriend material? God. He had tried so, SO hard this time. Desperately attempted to remember dates and not blow off plans and give Steve his full, undivided attention when they were together. But somehow, it still wasn't enough.

He cleared his throat and did his best to make his voice sound normal. "Friday, where's Steve?"

"Out for his morning run with Sergeant Barnes."

Bucky. Of course. He should have known Steve would always leave him for his best friend one day.

"I thought I'd have more time," Tony said faintly. He lowered his head onto the kitchen counter and wrapped his arms around the coffee maker.

God, he felt so alone. Even Brutus was surprisingly silent.

He didn't know how long he stood there, but eventually there was the sound of footsteps behind him. One of the other Avengers would walk in on him desperately clutching the coffee maker for strength, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

"Tony?" Steve said hesitantly.

Tony stiffened. Just the last person he wanted to walk in on his emotional break down. "Go away," he forced out, hating how raw his voice sounded.

Of course, Steve, the stubborn bastard he was, only came closer. "Baby, are you crying?"

"Of course I am," Tony snapped. "I got your note."

"I'm so sorry, honey," Steve said.

"You're sorry," Tony said scornfully. "Being sorry doesn't fix anything. Get the fuck out, Steve. Go back on your run with Bucky."

"Please forgive me, baby. It was an accident," Steve pleaded. He put a hand on Tony's shoulder.

Tony elbowed him back. "An accident? How the fuck do you call this an accident?"

"I was just trying to make a latte," Steve said miserably. "But the button was stuck and I might have pressed it too hard."

Tony blinked. "What?"

Steve's arms wrapped around his waist and his chin came to rest on Tony's shoulder. "I know how much that machine means to you. I'd never break it on purpose. You have to believe me, babe."

Tony took a deep, shuddering breath. "Damn it, Steve. That's what the note was about?"

Steve spun him around and his eyes worriedly tracked across his face. "Of course it was, baby. What's going on? Did something happen?"

Tony's shoulders sagged. "I thought you were leaving me."

"I wouldn't do that to you," Steve said. "Never." He pulled Tony into a tight embrace and pressed kisses against his neck. "You know I love you, right? You know I would never just up and leave you."

Tony slumped into his arms. "I know. I just saw the note and I panicked."

Steve carded his fingers through Tony's hair. "You haven't been sleeping and I'm sure you haven't been eating enough. You tend to get a little irrational when you don't take care of yourself."

"I've gone a lot longer," Tony protested. "My record is 72 hours. And there were no emotional breakdowns involved."

Steve sighed. "Honey, you put your body through a lot of stress when you work these long hours. I know you think you you're indestructible, but these things take a toll on you after awhile. I'm not going to try and talk you out of engineering binges, because I know that's a losing battle, but I'm going to insist you take a break every so often. Your mind needs the rest just as much as your body."

"I guess," Tony said reluctantly. He was a little wary of arguing with Steve while the fear of him leaving was still so raw, but he wasn't going to just roll over and let Steve have the final say.

"So," Steve said brightly. "Since Brutus is broken anyway, now would be the perfect time for you to take a short nap."

"I thought you said you just hit one of the buttons too hard." He pulled away from Steve a little to examine the machine.

"Er, well" Steve said sheepishly. "It might have been the power button."

Tony groaned as he looked at the cracked remnants of the power button on Brutus' side. He couldn't believe he hadn't noticed the damage right away. Maybe Steve had been right. His brain was too tired to think logically and he'd wind up overlooking something really important in his work.

"Alright," Tony said with a heavy sigh. "I'll take a nap for maybe half an hour. And then I'll fix poor Brutus up before I get back to work." He squinted at Steve. "Is that enough of a break for you?"

Steve hummed in agreement and pressed a kiss to Tony's cheek. "If it's enough for you, it's enough for me. Come on, let's get you to bed."

Tony squawked in protest as Steve scooped him into his arms. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Taking you to bed," Steve said cheerfully.

"You're going to come with me?"

"Of course I am. I haven't had you in bed with me for three nights now. I've missed getting to hold you and listen to those sleepy little sighs. There's no better lullaby in the world."

"You're such a sap," Tony said with a shake of his head. But he loved hearing how much Steve loved his companionship.

Steve gently deposited Tony in the middle of their spacious bed. Tony wiggled his way over to his side of the bed and lifted the sheet for Steve to crawl in behind him.

"Friday, lights," Tony said. Blackout curtains immediately dropped over the two large windows in the room and the small lamp in the corner turned on at its dimmest setting. Tony had never felt safe in the dark after going through the portal and luckily Steve had never judged him for needing a light on to sleep.

"I love you," Steve whispered as he draped his arm over Tony's waist. "And I'm staying right here for as long as you'll have me."

Tony snuggled back into Steve's embrace, smiling as Steve's breathing deepened. He never slept well without Steve either. Having those warm, strong arms wrapped around him was the most comforting thing imaginable.

He yawned and let his eyes drift shut. He'd lie down, just for a little while. And when he woke up, Steve was still going to be right at his side.


End file.
